Female Kurdish fighters, who represent less than 1% of the roughly 200,000 peshmerga forces, have become “the bankable icon” of the fight against the Islamic State. But beyond the illusions of a land that supports women’s rights, the reality in Iraqi Kurdistan is much less glamorous.

According to nongovernmental organization Wadi, 57% of female Iraqi Kurds between 14 and 19 years old underwent an excision of the clitoris. Honor killings by male family members are still common in Kurdistan, and many other women face forced and underage marriage, domestic violence or polygamy issues. Worse still, since the early 1990s, several thousand Iraqi Kurds died of self-immolation. In 2015, the Kurdistan Regional Government listed 125 deaths by self-immolation. In most cases, deaths are concealed behind the excuse of a random home accident, but Bahar Munzir, a popular activist for the rights of Kurdish women, told Al-Monitor that 500 such deaths occur each year.

Sarab, 19, is a survivor. When she was 11 years old, her father died and she had to respect her mother’s decision to marry a man who was 14 years older than her. In regard to the night that followed the wedding ceremony, she told Al-Monitor, "A girl should develop physically before uniting." Two years later, she gave birth to her first daughter. Her mother-in-law dictated her life, but Sarab never complained. "For fear of divorce," she said. Her husband became more and more violent, and desired another woman. Sarab thought about polygamy, which is illegal in Iraqi Kurdistan but still practiced. However, her husband preferred to divorce, remarry, and keep the child he had with Sarab. Barely 18 at the time but looking like she was 30, Sarab took refuge in her mother's house. One evening, after she found out that her child had been treated badly, she took a lighter, covered herself in oil and set fire to herself.

In Iraqi Kurdistan, a violent husband faces up to three years in prison and a fine of about $4,000. In 2011, the Kurdish parliament approved the so-called Law 8 that prohibits many of the abuses women face, such as forced marriage, forced divorce, shigar marriage (in which men exchange their daughters or sisters in marriage without paying a dowry) and genital mutilation. "Law 8 is the best in all of the Middle East," insisted Shokhan Hama Rashid Ahmad, a Kurdish consultant lawyer for the United Nations. For example, the law prohibits cutting a piece of the human body but does not deal specifically with excision.